Season One

Flowers For Your Grave

Beckett: Welcome to reality, superstar.
Castle: Well, I never did much like reality.

Beckett: (about Castle) He’s like a nine year old on a sugar rush. Totally incapable of taking anything seriously.

Kate: Are you here to annoy me?
Castle: I’m here for the story.

Kate: You want him? He’s yours.
Esposito: A control freak like you with something you can’t control? No, no, that’s gonna be more fun than Shark Week.

Lanie: Who says romance is dead?
Kate: I do. Every Saturday night.
Lanie: A little lipstick wouldn’t hurt.

Nanny McDead

Castle: You can lie like that? That is so cool!

Castle: So. Looks like I managed to make it through the case without getting injured, shot or killed.
Kate: Yeah, well, maybe tomorrow.

Castle: Three men huddled around a computer. There’d better not be porn, and if there is, I want in.

Hedge Fund Homeboys

No quotes for this episode yet.

Hell Hath No Fury

Castle: (describing his character based on Beckett) She’s going to be really smart, very savvy, haunting good looks, really good at her job and kinda slutty.

Beckett: What kind of name is Nikki Heat?
Castle: It’s a cop name.
Beckett: It’s a stripper name.

Beckett: Castle, what are you doing?
Castle: Promise not to hate me?
Beckett: I already hate you.

Castle: I’m a wise-ass not a jack-ass.

Castle: Oh my god. This is quite possibly the worst coffee I’ve ever tasted. It’s actually kind of fascinating. It tastes like a… (pauses to sip the coffee) it tastes like a monkey peed in battery acid.

A Chill Goes Through Her Veins

Castle: It’s family moments like these I will never forget.
Alexis: With a good therapist, hopefully I will!

Castle: Alright, so you and I are married.
Beckett: We are not married.
Castle: Relax, it’s just pretend.
Beckett: I don’t want to pretend.
Castle: Scared you’ll like it?

Always Buy Retail

Castle: Let me tell you something about crazy people. The sex is unbelievable.

Beckett: Crime scene, dead body. A little respect here.
Castle: I don’t think he can hear me.

Home Is Where The Heart Stops

Castle: Good enough to be our perp?
Ryan: Why do you writers always call them perps?
Castle: Isn’t that what you call them?
Ryan: Aah, we got a lot of names for ‘em.
Esposito: Yeah.
Ryan: Pipehead. Piss-head. Orc. Creep.
(Castle takes out a notepad and starts jotting down.)
Esposito: Crook. Knuckle-head. Chuckle-head.
Ryan: Chud. Turd.
Esposito: Destro. Scum.
Ryan: Skexy. Slicko. Slick.
Esposito: Mope.
Ryan: Sleazestack.
Castle: Slow down, slow down.
Beckett: Suspects. We call them suspects.
Roy: I’m old school. I like ‘dirtbag’.
Castle: Classic.

Beckett: Tell your friend to keep up his disappearing act, and the next time you show up at a crime scene without me, I’ll show you how my taser works.
Castle: Promise?

Beckett: We can always just cuddle, Castle.

Ryan: Nice dress.
Esposito: Yeah, what there is of it.
Beckett: I’d let you borrow it Esposito, but you stretched out the last one.

Ghosts

Castle: Someone say murder? Hold on, I’ll get my coat!
Esposito: Look at him, all excited.
Beckett: Yeah, like a kid at Christmas.
Ryan: With a dead body under the tree.

Little Girl Lost

Beckett: (about the cover art to Castle’s Nikki Heat book) She’s naked!
Castle: She’s not naked. She’s holding a gun… strategically.

Castle: I didn’t ask.
Beckett: Yea, I know. You were not asking very loudly.
Castle: I know, I’m like a Jedi like that.

Beckett: It’s Sunday morning, shouldn’t you be slinking home from a scandalous liaison?
Castle: Would you be jealous if I were?
Beckett: In your dreams.
Castle: Actually in my dream you’re never jealous, in my dreams you just join in.

Beckett: Be careful, okay?
Castle: Do I detect actual concern for my well-being?
Beckett: Screw this up, and I’ll kill you.
Castle: That’s more like it.

A Death In The Family

Castle: Santa’s not real. We still love opening his presents.

Castle: Most people come up against a wall, they give up. Not you. You don’t let go. You don’t back down. That makes you extraordinary.

Season Two

Deep In Death

Castle: Thanks for saving my life.
Beckett: Ah, I was just trying to avoid paperwork.

Alexis: So was it awful? Were you scared?
Castle: Me? Scared? No way, come on. Now excuse while I change my shorts.

Ryan: What no brain damage?
Lanie: If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self inflicted.
Castle: Ahh, good times.

Castle: We make a pretty good team, you know. Like Starsky and Hutch, Tango and Cash…Turner and Hooch.
Beckett: You know, now that you mention it, you do remind me a little of Hooch.

Castle: Well, at least let me know what I can do to make it up to you.
Beckett: You can leave me alone.
Castle: Yes, I tried that and it didn’t work. Hey! I can buy you a pony!

The Double Down

Ryan: How you doing, Dr. Perlmutter?
Dr. Perlmutter: Shhhh! The body is speaking.
Esposito: What’s it saying?
Dr. Perlmutter: It’s saying “somebody shot me.”

Inventing The Girl

Beckett: Rina used to babysit Alexis, fellas. So as far as Big Rick here is concerned, she might as well be wearing a chastity belt.
Castle: Thank you for that visual image. And also, thank you for calling me Big Rick.

Castle: I can already see the blurb on my next book jacket; It’s fashion week in New York City, and the clothes are to die for.

Fool Me Once

Beckett: Wait, there’s a sex scene in the book? Between us?
Castle: There’s a sex scene between Nikki Heat and the roguishly handsome reporter who’s helping her.
Beckett: Oh, good. So he’s nothing like you.

Beckett: You have a guy in the CIA?
Castle: When are you going to learn? I have a guy everywhere.

Beckett: What was so important that you had to cut my sparring session short?
Castle: Just that I cracked this case wide open. You know, the thought of you fighting in the ring with another woman; strangely arousing.

Beckett: Shut the front door!

When The Bough Breaks

Castle: You want some coffee? I’d love to sit down and not discuss this further.

Castle: I almost ordered a Russian bride once. You know, a Czech-mate…

Castle: (to Beckett) I mean it. You are extraordinary.

Vampire Weekend

Beckett: Oh, Castle, the things you don’t know about me could fill a book.

Ryan: She wanted to have sex in a coffin. I’m open-minded but I’m not that open-minded.

Castle: He reminds me of early Frank Miller.
Beckett: Which Frank? Epic Comic or Dark Horse Years?
Castle: Oh my god, that is the sexiest thing I have ever heard you say.

Castle: If he is a vampire and you pull that out, he comes back to life.
Lanie: If he does than we can all go home early.

Famous Last Words

Castle: Do I look like a killer to you?
Beckett: Yes, you kill my patience.

Beckett: I’m so used to you acting like a twelve-year-old all the time. It’s kind of refreshing to see you as a father.
Castle: It makes you want me, right?
Beckett: And there’s the twelve-year-old again.

Kill The Messenger

Beckett: Are you looking at porn?
Castle: I use Ryan’s computer for that.

Montgomery: Thank you for your offer. However, my detectives will conduct their investigation in any manner they see fit.
Blake Wellesley: Captain, I can get the Commissioner on the phone in under a minute.
Montgomery: Well, tell him I said hi… and I really could use a raise.

Love Me Dead

Beckett: Really? Because I have an eye witness who saw the two of you arguing yesterday morning. So that means you’re lying to me.
Castle: (whispering) She hates being lied to.
Paul Cho: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Kate: Great, let’s go down to the precinct, I’ll arrange a perp walk, and you can put on a show for the cameras.
(Castle puts his hand on Paul Cho’s shoulder)
Castle: Love a good perp walk.

Beckett: You’ve got quite a record, Mr. Knox.
Castle: Your parents must be proud.
Knox: Yeah, they hang all my mug shots on the fridge.

Beckett: Why would a respected prosecutor become a pimp?
Castle: The outfits.

Castle: What was that for?
Alexis: For being the best dad ever.
Castle: It’s true, you know. I have the novelty mug to prove it.

One Man’s Treasure

No quotes for this episode yet!

The Fifth Bullet

Castle: Why, Detective Beckett. I had no idea you were a romantic.
Beckett: I also sleep with a gun. I bet you didn’t know that either.

Castle: I’m telling you, ice bullet.
Esposito: Nah Bro, an ice bullet would still make a bullet-hole.
Ryan: You mean ice-hole.
Castle: What did you just call me?

A Rose For Everafter

Beckett: When I’m not here do you guys braid each others hair and debate who’s the coolest Jonas Brother?
Esposito: No, but is totally Nick.
Ryan: Absolutely Nick.

Lanie: (amused) Girl, I’m gonna smack you! You work side by side everyday. He writes a sex scene in his book about you that had me reaching for ice water. Now, little miss bride shows up. Don’t tell me you’re not the least bit jealous.
Beckett: Oh, please. You’ve been inhaling too many autopsy fluids. (Beckett begins to leave the room.)
Lanie: Honey, just because you can’t see whats goin’ on doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t see what’s going on!
Beckett: (from outside the room, in a singsong) Shut up!
Lanie: (to Sophie, the corpse) Mm-hmm. I see it. You may not, but I do.

Ryan : Where’s Castle?
Beckett: I don’t know. Figured the death of a bridesmaid would be right up his alley.
Ryan: Heard wedding probably got cold feet?

Sucker Punch

Castle: Do you know why I chose you as my inspiration for Nikki Heat?
Beckett: No. Why?
Castle: Because you are tall. (Beckett smiles)

Castle: I overstepped. I came down here to say that I was sorry and that I’m through.I can’t shadow you anymore. If it wasn’t for me…
Beckett: If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve never found my mom’s killer. And someday soon, I’m gonna find the sons of bitches who had Coonan kill her. And I’d like you around when I do. And if you tell anyone what I’m about to say, there’s gonna be another shooting, but I’ve gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun.
Castle: Your secret’s safe with me.

The Third Man

Beckett: You’re such a metrosexual.
Castle: Yeah, well, better than being a pin-up boy.
Beckett: So you heard? (Castle nods) And it’s man, Castle. Pin-up man.

Beckett: I have no life.
Lainie: No, Mr. Bishop has no life. That’s why he’s on my table.

Suicide Squeeze

Beckett: (About Castle’s family) Con artists and circus people, huh?
Castle: And mindreaders.
Beckett: Really? Tell me what I’m thinking.
Castle: Ah! You… You are thinking… ‘You don’t care and you want me to stop talking’.
Beckett: Uh! That’s uncanny!
Castle: It’s in the blood.

Castle: Did you just use the word “veritable” in a sentence?
Beckett: Yes, I did.
Castle: Sexy!
Beckett: You should hear me say “fallacious”.

The Mistress Always Spanks Twice

Castle: C’mon! Haven’t you ever wanted to do something with your handcuffs other than arrest criminals?
Beckett: No. But there is one hot, wild, kinky thing that I do like doing…(Castle looses his grip on the table he’s leaning into) Putting killers behind bars!

Castle: Maybe our killer has a sweet tooth.
Beckett: Given the state of undress I would say it’s more likely a sexual fetish.
Lanie: I can do the chocolate. I will even do the whipped cream bikini, but caramel? I prefer slippery to sticky.
Castle: (To Ryan) Does she know we can hear her?

Tick, Tick, Tick…

Castle: I’m here to protect you.
Beckett: What with your vast arsenal of rapier wit?

Castle: Ask me why I’m here.
Beckett: You know, I ask myself that question every day.

Boom!

Kate: Hell of a shot, Castle.
Castle: I was aiming for his head…

Shaw: Castle, what part of un-ass don’t you understand?
Castle: All of it.

Agent Shaw: Castle. Thank you for your help. You are a valuable asset to Detective Beckett’s team.
Castle: Well, it would be great if you would call her and remind her of that from time to time.

Agent Shaw: He cares about you, Kate. You may not see it. You may not be ready to. But he does.
Beckett: Yeah, well, the situation with Castle is… complicated.

Agent Shaw: In the end, Dunn did actually face Nikki Heat. She is after all, part you, part Castle.

Castle: Are you in any pain?
Beckett: Well, not nearly as much as you. It’s killing you, isn’t it?
Castle: What?
Beckett: Having to wait this long to tell me how you banged down the door.
Castle: You want me to start from the beginning?

Wrapped Up In Death

Castle: (Elevator stops) No reason to panic. (Lights in elevator go off) Small reason to panic.

Castle: (after cutting himself) What’s the difference between cursed and clumsy?
Alexis: I’ll get a band aid.
Castle: Get two.

Castle: If something were to happen to me I want you to watch out for Alexis. She looks up to you, and if her boyfriends get frisky you can shoot them.
Beckett: Nothing is gonna happen to you.
Castle: But if it does…?
Beckett: Ok.
Castle: And would you also go into my closet and get rid of my porn collection before she finds it?
Esposito: Don’t worry, Bro. I got you covered on that.

Beckett: Either you are being a good cop or you just wanna go to the museum?
Castle: They have dinosaurs there.

Castle: Do you believe people get what they deserve?
Beckett: Well, if they do then I must have done something terrible to be punished with you.
Castle: Funny.

Beckett: (referring to Castle’s story about the numerous times he took Alexis to the museum) You know Castle, sometimes I forget that you have such a capacity for pure innocence in your life.
Castle: Yeah, plus it was a great place to pickup chicks.
Beckett: Then you open your mouth and you ruin it.

The Late Shaft

Beckett: (Watching Castle on tv) Wow! Camera does really add ten pounds… to his ego!

Det. Kevin Ryan: Aren’t famous people crazy and narcissistic?
Det. Kate Beckett: I don’t know. Gotta ask Castle.

Den Of Thieves

Castle: Betrayal, lies, deceit sounds like my first marriage.

Castle: (About the body) That is so cool. Do you mind if I take pictures?
Lanie: Knock yourself out, but if any of them end up on the internet, I will hunt you down and hurt you.

Food To Die For

Madison: No, no, no. I get it. You’re hot for Castle. You want to make little Castle babies. (Beckett is horrified) Why couldn’t you just be honest?
Beckett: (whispers) Maddie!
Madison: What?
Beckett: (whispers) He can hear us!

Castle: What’s a good time?
Beckett: Well, if you don’t know by now, I’m sure it’s too late to show you one.

Castle: What broke?
Alexis: A stupid glass.
Castle: Remind me to get smarter glasses.

Overkill

No quotes for this episode yet.

A Deadly Game

Esposito: Why do you think he’s been following you around all this time? What, research? The guy has done enough research to write 50 books. Look… whatever the reason is, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t include watching you be with another guy.

Castle: Oh! Look who’s off duty!
Beckett: Yeah, well Castle, I’m not all work.
Lanie: Don’t go into a drinking contest with her. She can take you.
Castle: Thank You.
Beckett: Oh, I don’t need to drink to take him.

Beckett: Wow Castle. You’re working really hard to see me in a swimsuit.
Castle: If you are not comfortable in a swimming suit you can just skinny dip.

Season Three

A Deadly Affair

Esposito: If you ask me, you should’ve locked him up just outta spite.
Beckett: No, that’ll be unethical. Making the people down in holding deal with him.

Castle: She said she was in trouble and she couldn’t go to the police.
Beckett: So why did she call you?
Castle: Because Maya knew I had a relationship with you- uh, with the NYPD.

Castle: You look good.
Beckett: You look good too.
Castle: Yeah?
Beckett: For murder!

Castle: Do you know what these bodies are? A sign.
Beckett: A sign?
Castle: A sign. A sign from the universe telling us we need to solve this case together. You don’t want to let the universe down, do you?
Beckett: You’re not gonna go away no matter what I do, are you?
Castle: I respect the universe.

He’s Dead, She’s Dead

Martha: Richard, whatever mistakes I’ve made in my life, I raised a good man.

Castle: Oh, let me guess, you don’t believe in fate. Soulmates?
Beckett: No.
Castle: Unicorn, fairies, double rainbows? Didn’t you ever think your dolls used to get up at night and play with your toys?
Beckett: Sorry.
Castle: Mmm… Let me guess. You were one of those annoying 6 year olds who stopped believing in Santa Claus because you figured out he couldn’t travel faster than the speed of light.
Beckett: I was 3, and we didn’t have a chimney.

Castle: Surrounded by skeptics.
Esposito: It’s called being a cop, bro.

Castle: I’m just willing to admit that there are people in this world who are more sensitive than me.
Beckett: Now that’s not hard to believe.
Castle: Walked right into that one.

Beckett: My gut says it’s not him. But we still have to look into his alibi.
Castle: Oh, so you don’t believe in fate, yet your gut has magical properties. That’s cool, Scully.

Castle: If you don’t believe in even the possibility of magic, you’ll never find it.

Under The Gun

Ryan: You know, if this were a horror movie, we’d be the first ones killed, splitting off like this.
Esposito: Yeah, except we’re not a couple of top-heavy coeds out looking for fun. We’re highly trained officers of the law with enough firepower to take out a horde of undead.
Ryan: Hispanic and cocky. Yeah, you definitely die first.

Castle: You were a girl once.
Beckett: Still am.

Castle: (about the Vespa) Can you tell me why my daughter wants one of these so badly?
Beckett: Oh, bikes are what girls want when we realize we’re never gonna get a pony.

Punked

Castle: (to Beckett) So I wear boxers, what do you wear? Thong? Cheekies? I told you mine! Bloomers? Granny-panties? Comando?!

Castle: Aha. I knew you’d reconsider. It’s kind of like David Hasselhoff. First you’re repulsed, but then, strangely, you’re drawn in.
Alexis: No. Still repulsed.

Castle: How do you know when you’re in love?
Beckett: All the songs make sense.

Anatomy Of Murder

Martha: But, the question is this, when you come right down to it…would you be willing to break her out of prison? Because that my boy is true love.

Castle: What, you’d just leave me in there?
Esposito: It’s the law of the jungle, I gotta look out for numero uno.
Castle: Wow. Nothing like a hypothetical prison term to let you know who your friends really are.
Beckett: Don’t worry Castle, I’d get you out.

Beckett: Yeah, well we have a song as well.
Castle: We do?
Beckett: Uhuh. “You talk too much” by Clarence Carter.

3XK

Castle: How did you know to come here?
Beckett: Your mom called; she said that you told her you loved her and she figured that something must be terribly wrong.
Castle: I figured she might; good girl.

Beckett: Tell me something Castle, why did he let you live?
Castle: To punish me. Make me pay for ruining his plan. Now he’s going to kill again all because I couldn’t stop him and I feel so…
Beckett: I know the feeling.
Castle: I know you do.

Capt. Montgomery: Feds say he’s a white male 25 to 45 years old.
Castle:(whispers to Beckett) It could be me.
Capt. Montgomery: With a dysfunctional relationship with his mother.
Castle: (whispering to Beckett) Still me.
Capt. Montgomery: He has a menial unimportant job.
Beckett: Definitely you.
Castle: Just for that I’m basing my next book on Esposito.

Beckett: (to Castle) I’m so glad you’re okay.

Almost Famous

Castle: Do you want a lawyer or do you want to hire an actor to play one for you?

Castle: Shotgun!
Beckett: Castle, you’re the only one here.

Castle: Ladies, I am not a stripper. Though I can understand how you’d make that mistake.

Beckett: (to Castle) Let me know if you need any singles.

Murder Most Fowl

Castle: What’s the strangest pet you’ve ever had?
Beckett: You!

Close Encounters Of The Murderous Kind

Ryan: Hey… those hickeys?
Esposito: Yes
Beckett: NO!
Castle: (mumbles) I wish.

Castle: And I just want to win ‘em over, get them on my side. But what if they don’t take to me?
Beckett: Oh, come on, Castle. They’ll take to you.
Castle: Really?
Beckett: Yeah.
Castle: Thanks.
Beckett: So long as you don’t act like yourself.
Castle: Oh, nice one.

Martha: Doing the crossword in pen? Feeling cocky today, are we?
Castle: What is life without challenges?

Esposito: Hmm.. abducted by government agents huh?! Common.. What were you two really doing?
Beckett: It’s not a hickey Esposito.
Esposito: You both have one.
Castle: I wish it was a hickey. It’s from the injectors.
Esposito: Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Beckett: That reminds me of the Lego I got stuck up my nose when I was six.
Castle: What?

Beckett: That is not called an alien abduction. That is called a hangover.

Beckett: Let’s just stick it in and get this over with.

Last Call

Beckett: You know, I kind of figured you more for an “alligator in the sewer” type of guy.
Castle: There’s alligators down here?

Beckett: So instead of buying a drink, you’re gonna buy a whole bar?
Castle: My way of giving back.
Beckett: Yeah, to your ego.

Beckett: So Castle, can I buy you a drink?
Castle: Why Detective Beckett, I thought you’d never ask.

Beckett: If he had a gun, why use a bottle?
Castle: Don’t ruin my story with your logic!

Nikki Heat

Ryan: We really should have a code word so we all know which Beckett to kill when her clone army attacks.
Beckett: Unless we make a preemptive strike.

Beckett: (spying on Natalie) Do I really do that?
Castle: Yes. And it’s adorable.
Beckett: If it’s so adorable, why didn’t you sleep with me? Her me, not “me” me.
Castle: Oh. Well, a fictional character that I wrote, based on you, played by Natalie Rhodes? That’s just… way too meta.

Beckett: (about Natalie) She took my coffee, Castle.
Castle: It’s just coffee.
Beckett: (panicked) Then what’s next, my soul? Everything I do, she does. Even when I’m thinking, I can feel her in my head, like some kind of a brain-eating parasite from one of her movies.

Beckett: Well, you’re right about the heels and the stature, but it’s not because I need it, I just like it!

Castle: You should be flattered.
Beckett: Yeah, sure… Until she steals my boyfriend and kills me in my sleep!

Poof! You’re Dead

Lanie: (about a piece of evidence) Well, maybe this will cheer you up.
Castle: Old man hair.
Lanie: White rabbit fur. It came from his teeth and throat.
Castle: So, he was killed by a rabbit who did not want to be pulled out of a hat.

Castle: I can’t believe you’re letting him just walk out of here. If this was a movie…
Beckett: It’s not a movie, and what am I supposed to charge him with, being a twin?
Castle: Being an evil twin in a magic murder.

Castle: (to Alexis and Martha) You are the picture of a civilized evening at home.
Martha: And you are a caveman.

Castle: I never pegged you as a magic fan; you know any good tricks?
Beckett: I do this one thing – with ice cubes.

Castle: You had your hand in my pocket and I didn’t know it? Do it again!

Beckett: Alakazam, Jackass!

Castle: Motorcycle Boy?
Beckett: I really wish you would stop calling him that.
Castle: Dr. Motorcycle Boy?

Castle: The bubble will burst soon enough.
Beckett: Not if your in it with the right person.

Knockdown

Beckett: It’s not your fight.
Castle: The hell it isn’t. I don’t hang around you just to annoy you. I don’t ride out to murder scenes in the middle of the night to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that’s all this was, I would’ve quit a long time ago.
Beckett: Well, then why do you keep coming back, Rick?
Castle: Look, I may not have a badge, unless you count the chocolate one that Alexis gave me for my birthday, but I’ll tell you this… like it or not, I’m your plucky sidekick.
Beckett: Plucky sidekick always gets killed.
Castle: Partner, then.

Raglan: (about Castle) Lady, what part of no cops didn’t you understand?
Beckett: He’s not a cop.
Raglan: Well, who the hell is he, then?
Beckett: He’s someone I trust.

Castle: It’s not about the books anymore.

Castle: That was amazing. The way you knocked him out, I mean.

Beckett: Thank you. For having my back in there.
Castle: Always.

Lucky Stiff

Esposito: I play my firsts… sex and combat.
Ryan: I play his firsts, too. What? That way, we both win, and it’s not awkward.

Castle: Money doesn’t change who you are. It just magnifies your personality.

Esposito: He also bought a house for the clerk that sold him the winning ticket, a mausoleum for his dead neighbor, and 3 acres on the moon.
Castle: Get outta town. He’s right down the crater from me.
Beckett: Why doesn’t it surprise me that you have property on the moon?
Castle: You know what? Laugh it up. When the earth is a desiccated husk, you will be begging to come live with me in the nectaris basin.

Castle: Three cops and a writer, that makes four. You’re under arrest so get on the floor.

Castle: Stop rapping. I’ll buy the album.

Beckett: You just can’t stay out of my personal life, can you? Castle frowns. Beckett smiles. Thank you. It’s really sweet. Both smile.

The Final Nail

Ryan: What’s going on?
Esposito: Mom and dad are fighting.
Ryan: Who’s winning?

Beckett: Richard Castle believes in you and I believe in him.

Castle and Beckett (in unison): I think I know who the killer is!

Beckett: You okay?
Castle: Yeah.
Beckett (nudging his arm): Liar.

Setup

Lanie: He was killed at 11:15.
Castle: So specific. I’m impressed.
Lanie: His watch broke when he fell.
Castle: Ah, you shouldn’t have told me. Less impressed.

Beckett: Why is it that the thing that attracts you to a person always ends up being that thing that just drives you crazy? I just wish that… I wish that I had someone who would be there for me, and I could be there for him, and we could just dive into it together.

Esposito: Everything points to him being popped for cash and car parts.
Lanie: Not everything, baby.
Beckett: (whispers) Did you just call him baby.
Lanie: Ooh, did I?
Castle: (mouths) you did.

Countdown

Agent Fallon: Listen, um… what I do is not who I am. It’s just how I have to be. I hope you both understand that.
Beckett: Why don’t we just say it was a pleasure and that we hope that we don’t have to do it again?
Agent Fallon: Fair enough.
Castle: I-if it does happen again, though, maybe you could just text me, have a code word. “Run.”

Beckett: Well, we were just doing our job. Actually, I was doing my job. I don’t know what the hell he was doing.

Agent Fallon: You two. Are you always this stubborn and insubordinate?
Castle: Only when we’re trying to save the world.

Castle: I’m glad my stupidity is predictable.

Beckett: Castle… Thank you… For being there…
Castle: Always…

Beckett: I just wish this was one of your books and you could rewrite the ending.

One Life To Lose

Esposito: Looks like she was killed last night and stuffed into a closet on set.
Beckett: Was she a part of the production?
Esposito: Yeah.
Castle: Let me guess. The diva actress that everyone hated.
Esposito: Actually, Castle, she was a writer.
Castle: A writer?! Why would anyone want to kill a writer?
Beckett: Oh, so many reasons.

Beckett: Maybe we should sleep on it. Separately.
Castle: Katherine Beckett, I never…

Ryan: Do you guys practice this when we’re not around?

Law & Murder

Castle: Alexis said she’d be in the Village today, but she’s over in Williamsburg.
Beckett: Well, how do you know she’s in Williamsburg?
Castle: GPS tracked her phone.
Beckett: You tracked her phone?
Castle: Yeah. Super cool app I just downloaded. I can see where she is at anytime.
Beckett: Does she know that you’re doing this?
Castle: What, are you kidding? No, she’d kill me.
Beckett: And be justified.

Castle: We can call them Esplanie. Which is perfect because they are always esplaning things!

Castle: Looks like he makes a killer cup of Joe. (Beckett glares) Too soon?

Beckett: I agree. (Castle stares) I know. Weird.

Slice Of Death

Castle: I should’ve gotten involved much earlier.
Beckett: Why? Lauren would’ve still found a way to make Alexis’ life miserable.
Castle: Lauren isn’t a criminal mastermind. She’s just a teenager.
Beckett: Ah, Castle, never underestimate the power of a woman on a mission.
Castle: No, I don’t. And I have the alimony checks to prove it.

Castle: It’s just… every instinct in my body is telling me to protect her.
Beckett: Yeah, but when it comes to teenagers, not even you can protect her. Alexis is gonna have to deal with backstabbers her whole life. But she’s intelligent enough to rise above all of that.
Castle: I don’t know. She looked like she was ready to commit murder.

Beckett: You had lots of imaginary friends growing up, didn’t you?
Castle: Still do.

The Dead Pool

Beckett: Because you didn’t want him to spend time with me.
Castle: That is completely…
Beckett: True?
Castle: Yes. Fine. It’s true. I’m jealous. There. I said it. I-I want you all to myself, and to have you spending time with another writer, that upsets me. And if… if that makes me petty, so be it. Guilty as charged.
Beckett: Actually, I kinda think it’s sweet.
Castle: You do?
Beckett: I do. And that’s why you don’t have to worry about me hanging around with Conrad anymore. From now on, I am a one-writer girl.

Castle: (About Alex) After everything I’ve done for him, he goes and tries to steal my muse.
Alexis: Muse thievery. What’s the punishment for that, five to ten in mythology jail?

To Love And Die In L.A.

Montgomery: Hey, you heard from Beckett?
Esposito: No, sir.
Ryan : Yeah, me neither.
Montgomery: She’s not answering her cell?
Esposito: Maybe she’s airborne
Ryan : Uh-huh. Yeah, that would explain her phone being turned off.
Montgomery: (to Esposito) You know I am trying to decide who is the worse liar, (nods at Ryan) him or you.
(Esposito nods at Ryan as in “him”)

Royce: (on the letter) And now for the hard part, kid. It’s clear that you and Castle have something real, and you’re fighting it. But trust me, putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we’re alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder, if only…

Castle: Ahh, worried you can’t control yourself when we’re alone?
Beckett: Actually it’s not me that I’m worried about.
Castle: I assure you, my intentions are pure.

Castle: Would you like to choose your room?
Beckett: No, I’d like to start the investigation.
Castle: We haven’t even ordered room service yet.
Beckett: Castle, I’m not here for room service. I’m here for justice.
Castle: Wow. In L.A. for all of a minute, and already she’s spouting cheesy movie dialogue. Must be something in the air.

Beckett: You cannot be a part of what I’m gonna do out there.
Castle: I thought you were on vacation.
Beckett: Castle… It is one thing for you to follow me when we’re in New York, but I am not a cop in L.A. I don’t have any authority or backup.
Castle: I’ll be your backup. Besides, going rogue is kind of my specialty.
Beckett: Yeah, but subtlety isn’t. I’m not gonna get rid of you, am I?

Esposito: (on the phone with Beckett) What’s up girl? How’s the weather in your world?
Beckett: Sunny with a chance of ass kicking.

Castle: You know what I thought when I first met you? That you were a mystery that I was never gonna solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I’m still amazed by the depths of your strength, your heart and your hotness.
Beckett: You’re not so bad yourself Castle.

Castle: Will Montgomery really fire you?
Beckett: Yes.
Castle: Are we going back to New York?
Beckett: Hell no.

Castle: Don’t poke me.
Beckett: Poke you? I want to kiss you.

Beckett: “I need a favor from you, but you can feel free to say no.”
Ryan: “Oh, come on, whatever it is I’m saying yes.”

Pretty Dead

Castle: Life is a journey, and there is no predicting the outcome. The only thing you can control are your choices, and they’ll… they’ll define who you are.

Castle: You know I-I hate to interfere…
Alexis: (smiles) Since when?
Castle: Point taken.

Castle: 30 years of marriage, and you don’t know what to buy her?
Captain Montgomery: If you stayed married long enough, you’d know, it’s hard to stay original after the first ten.
Castle: That’s fair.
Beckett: So what’s the secret to your success?
Captain Montgomery: There’s no secret. Just… keep showing up.

Castle: Well, do what I do. Look at the odds as a challenge.
Alexis: Says the man who always loses in Vegas.

Knockout

Martha: Oh, my God. What the hell’s going on here?
Castle: Nothing. I’m sorry. Go back to bed.
Martha: There’s only one person on the planet that can get you this pissed off.
Castle: (sighs) She’s going to get herself killed.
Martha: She’s a grown woman. She’s a homicide detective, for God’s sakes. It’s her job. It’s her life.
Castle: If anything happens to her… it.
Martha: Go on.
Castle: (struggles to find the words) I uh…
Martha: Oh, Richard, Richard. For a man who makes his living with words, you sure have a hell of a time finding them when it counts. (Holds his hands) Darling… Let me give you a word of advice, all right, from someone who’s better than halfway through the movie. Don’t waste another minute of it!

Beckett: Yeah, well, last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym. And for the past three years, I’ve been running around with the school’s funniest kid and it’s not enough.

Castle: (After gunshot) Kate! No Kate… Ssh. Kate please. Stay with me Kate. Don’t leave me, please. Stay with me okay? Kate… I love you. I love you, Kate.

Capt. Montgomery: I could’ve kicked Castle to the curb years ago… anytime I wanted to. Only reason I kept him around this long was because I saw how good he was for you. Kate, you’re the best that I’ve ever trained, maybe the best I’ve ever seen. But you weren’t having any fun before he came along. We speak for the dead. That’s the job. We are all they’ve got once the wicked rob them of their voices. We owe them that. But we don’t owe ‘em our lives.

Castle: You know what? This isn’t about your mother’s case anymore. This is about you needing a place to hide, because you’ve been chasing this thing so long, you’re afraid to find out who you are without it.
Beckett: You don’t know me, Castle. You think you do, but you don’t.
Castle: I know you crawled inside your mother’s murder and didn’t come out. I know you hide there the same way you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don’t love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you’re afraid.
Beckett: You know what we are, Castle? We are over.

Capt. Montgomery: It was there in her eyes, man, and I thought… with this kid’s tenacity and some training, I mean, she’d make a hell of a homicide.
Castle: That tenacity is gonna get her killed.
Capt. Montgomery: I cannot… make Beckett stand down, Castle. I never could, and the way I figure, the only one who can… is you.

Beckett: What about you, Rick?
Castle: Of course I don’t want anything to happen to you. I am your partner, your friend…
Beckett: Is that what we are?
Castle: Alright, I don’t know what we are. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. We nearly die, frozen in each other’s arms but we never talk about it. So I got no clue of what we are. I know I don’t want to see you throw your life away.

Jim Beckett: She cares about you, Rick. And unless you’re a lot dumber than you look, I know you care about her.

Beckett: (eulogy for Capt.Montgomery) Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices. But we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me for us there are no victory; there are only battles. And in the end the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you’re very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you.

Season Four

Rise

Castle: You’re right. I do need to grow up. And that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. Everything that’s happened happened because of me. And I need to be there for her. I owe her that.
Alexis: Does she make you happy?
Castle: Yeah, she does.
Alexis: Is it enough?
Castle: It’s enough for now.
Alexis: Okay.
Castle: Okay.
Alexis: Dad. Don’t grow up too much, okay?
Castle: (smiles) Hey. It’s me we’re talking about.

Beckett: How am I supposed to get my bearings when someone out there wants me dead?
Castle: By not letting them rob you of your life. I promise you, we will figure this out. We’re gonna find them and we’re gonna make them pay. Just not today.
Beckett: Castle, if I don’t do this, I don’t know who I am.
Castle: You’re who you always were. You’re the one who honors the victims.

Beckett: Castle, wait!
Castle: I did, three months. You never called.
Beckett: Look, I know you’re angry…
Castle: Oh, you’re damn right I’m angry. I watched you die in that ambulance. Did you know that? You know what that’s like, watching the life drain out of someone you… (pauses) someone you care about?

Beckett: Ma’am.
Capt. Gates: If my mother drops by, you can call her ma’am. Call me sir or captain.

Heroes & Villains

Castle: You know…even when you were a little girl, you were a serious person. I think I’ve just… gotten used to you being… sensible and mature, even more than me sometimes.
Alexis: Sometimes?
Castle: Point taken.

Castle: Paul is the writer. Lone Vengeance is the subject. That’s their relationship. It’s you and me all over again, but I’m Paul, and you’re Lone Vengeance.
Beckett: Really, Castle, is that how you see me, like a sword-wielding killer?
Castle: Depends. Will you be scantily clad?
Beckett: In your dreams.

Ryan: I mean, haven’t you ever wanted to be a superhero? Going out there, prowling the city, knocking some heads?
Esposito: I do that now.

Castle: If you could be any comic book character in the world, who would you be?
Beckett: Elektra.
Castle: Ah, a ruthless assassin who hides from her emotions.
Beckett: No, maybe it’s because she’s got badass ninja skills. What about you? Iron Man? Spider-Man? No, wait. I know. Annoying man.
Castle: Try billionaire industrialist Bruce Wayne, a.k.a. the Dark Knight. He’s brooding, he’s handsome, and he has all the coolest toys.
Beckett: Wow. Digging deep on that one.

Head Case

Castle: Rejection isn’t a failure.
Alexis: Sure feels like failure.
Castle: Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected. It’s how you handle it that determines where you’ll end up.

Kick The Ballistics

Castle: I like to pretend I’m Beckett’s partner and like I’m one of them, but days like today, I realize (pauses) that I’ve just been playacting.
Martha: Oh… Your playacting once helped saved New York City as I recall. Be there for your friends. Stand beside them, work together. That’s plenty useful. Trust me.

Castle: I know who the killer is.
Beckett: Castle, we just got some bad news, so no hypotheticals. Just give us a name.
Castle: Well, I have to start at the beginning…
Beckett: Name.
Castle: Jinhai Li Chang.
Beckett: Okay, start from the beginning.

Eye Of The Beholder

Serena: (to Castle) I’m going back to my hotel. I’d ask you to come, but it’s like I said, I don’t steal things that belong to someone else.

Capt. Gates: Beckett! (signalling Beckett to come into her office)
Ryan: (whispering) Great! What’d you do now?
Beckett: Shut up!

Demons

Castle: Listen if you’re not scared, just say it?
Beckett: No.
Castle: Come on, you know you want to.
Beckett: I don’t want to say it Castle.
Castle: For me please.
Beckett: I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

Castle: (to Alexis) I can promise you this. If two people believe in something, really believe, anything, even the impossible, is possible.

Beckett: Why are you so determined to find the supernatural in all this?
Castle: Why are you so determined not to?
Beckett: You know what? I am just following the evidence wherever it may lead, and as a cop, I’m going to consider every possible worldly explanation.
Castle: And what if there is none?
Beckett: Well, then I’m open to the alternatives.
Castle: (laughs) You? Skepticus Maximus?

Beckett: So what’s our next step? Are we gonna stake out the house, wait for the demon to show up, zap him with our proton pack?
Castle: That’s not a real thing, you know, that real ghost hunters use.
Esposito: Real ghost hunters? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms, bro?

Castle: So… if Barry’s not our guy, I think it’s time we revisit the possibility that our killer’s a…
Beckett: If you say ghost, I’m sending you home.
Castle: Apparition-American.

Cops & Robbers

Beckett: Listen to me, jackass. I do not control traffic, so you’re gonna have to give me 20 minutes.
Trapper John: Now you got one minute, Kate.
Beckett: No. I’ve got 20. Do you hear me? 20. Because if you pull that trigger, I will walk through those doors and personally put a bullet through your skull.
Trapper John: Okay, Kate. You got 20 more minutes.
Peterson: Well, that’s one way to negotiate.

Esposito: I don’t get it this is a little old retired librarian. What could possibly be in her safe deposit box that would be worth doing all this.
Ryan: Nazi gold, cold fusion, map to Atlantis.
Esposito: Hey, Castle Jr., could you maybe start thinking like a cop, please?

Castle: (to Martha) Mother, I am no longer satisfied with the Customer Service of this establishment. I think we should take our business elsewhere.

Beckett: Listen to me, so far nobody has been hurt and nothing has been stolen. So, if you just leave, the same way that you came in, you can just disappear.
Trapper John: You got to promise not to come and look for me.
Beckett: I don’t look, I hunt.

Heartbreak Hotel

Castle: Well, how about just a low-key evening with your girlfriends? You guys can have a John Hughes’ marathon and fill out a Cosmo quiz
Alexis: Dad, the ’80s just called. It wants its plan back.

Castle: (while entering the casino) Ah, you smell that? That is the smell of hopes, dreams, and endless opportunities.
Esposito: Not to be confused with cigarette smoke, day drinking, and desperation.

Lanie: Detective Esposito, a little respect, please. I mean, there is a dead body here.
Esposito: What’d I do?
Castle: You broke up with her.
Esposito: We broke up with each other. That’s different.
Castle: Yeah, you’d think it’d be different, but no.

Kill Shot

Beckett: Castle. Thank you.
Castle: For what?
Beckett: For not pushing and giving me the space to get through this.
Castle: Always.

Beckett: I want to be more than who I am. But I don’t know if I know how to do that without letting my mom down.
Burke: She’s dead, Kate. You can’t let her down. The only person you can let down is yourself. Her death is a part of you. And you’re gonna have to make peace with that, just like you’re gonna have to make peace with the scars from your shooting. But it doesn’t have to limit you.
Beckett: How am I supposed to let go?
Burke: I can help you. But the question is, are you ready?
Beckett: Yeah, I think I am.

Beckett: What are you doing?
Castle: Just waiting for my partner. Maybe you’ve seen her. Pretty girl, thinks she can leap tall buildings in a single bound, carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, yet…still manages to laugh at some of my jokes.
Beckett: She sounds like a handful.
Castle: Tell me about it. Anyway…if you do see her, tell her she owes me about a hundred coffees.

Esposito: I’ve been where you are. I know what you’re going through.
Beckett: Javi, I’m fine.
Esposito: You’re not fine. You’re just trying to act like you are. (show the rifle that shot her) This is just a tool. It’s a hunk of steel. It has no magical powers, and the person that fired it is not some all-powerful God. He’s just a guy… with a gun, just like the guy we’re hunting now. And like every other bad guy, he’s damaged goods.
Beckett: So am I.
Esposito: That’s right. And that’s okay. You think it’s a weakness? Make it a strength. It’s a part of you. So use it.

Cuffed

Castle: Tell me this why do you always have to be first? First out of the elevator, first through the door.
Beckett: Um, I am a cop. I’m the one with a gun. Being first through the door is my job.
Castle: In the elevator? Look, how about this? Would it kill ya’to let someone open the door for you once in a while?
Beckett: You do realize, if somebody opens the door for me, then I will be going through it first anyway, right?
Castle: Oh, yeah, that’s right. I forgot. You have to be the smartest, too. Everything’s a competition with you.

Beckett: What was so special about our victim that our killer wanted to erase his identity? Don’t say spy. Or mob hit.
Castle: Mob hit of a spy?

Castle: (at the crime scene) You know what I love about working with you? You always take me to the most charming places.
Beckett: Well, I’m a simple girl, Castle. I go where the bodies are. Besides, for a mystery novelist, aren’t seedy motels kind of a standard?

Beckett: They both want to be together, but neither want to admit to it.
Castle: Ugh, why do people do that to themselves?
Beckett: Maybe they just don’t see it.
Castle: How could they not, it’s so obvious.

Beckett, bent over, backs into Castle… to help move a heavy chest
Beckett: You better not be enjoying this, Castle.
Castle: I’ll let you know in a minute.

Beckett invites Castle to fantasize all he wants after their crisis is solved
Castle: It’s not as much fun if I have your permission.

Suspecting they’re new product for a human-trafficking ring…
Castle: I’m a best-selling author! I wonder what I’d be worth.

After Kate (and those mad, stacked heels) help bust through a wall
Castle: I always liked your legs, but now I respect them.

Castle: If I ever have to be hitched to someone, it would be you.
Beckett: For what it’s worth, if I ever have to spend another night handcuffed to someone, I wouldn’t mind if it was you…. But next time, let’s do it without the tiger.
Castle: [After a double-take, his interest piqued] “Next time”…?

Till Death Do Us Part

Beckett: Castle, if we were getting married, would you want to know about all the guys that I’ve slept with?
Castle: All?
Beckett: Seriously? You sign women’s chests at book readings. You cannot be shocked that I’m not a virgin.
Castle: It’s just the word… all, suggests a lot. How many are we talkin’… Exactly?
Beckett: Are you really asking for my number?
Castle: You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.
Beckett: Men. You all want to know, but you don’t want to know.

Castle: If you found out a man was cheating on you, how would you kill him?
Martha: Knife… to the heart.
Castle: All right. What if you don’t have the stomach for that?
Alexis: Shoot him.
Castle: But you don’t have the stomach for that either.
Martha: What’s wrong with our stomachs?
Alexis: There’s always poison.
Martha: True. Watch him writhe and suffer.
Alexis: Die like the rodent he is.
Castle: Wow. All these years writing about murderers, I had no idea I was living among them.

Castle: Suggests premeditation. She knew she was gonna kill him, so she booked the room anonymously.
Beckett: Yeah, but then why sleep with him? Why not just push him out the window?
Castle: Because she’s a black widow… The coldest-hearted creature on Earth. She lures an unsuspecting male, takes him into her web, and then the moment they culminate, as soon as he feels the ecstasy of achieving his biological destiny, she opens up her jaws and eats him alive.
Ryan: I’m glad I’m in a healthy relationship.
Beckett: (smiles) Yeah.

Ryan: Castle, Jenny tells me that you RSVP’d plus one.
Castle: Mm-hmm.
Beckett: You’re bringing a date?
Castle: I am.
Beckett: Who?
Castle: Oh… well, she’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, she’s funny, and the way she smiles at me sometimes just melts my heart. It’s Alexis.

Dial M For Mayor

Castle: “Officer and a Gentleman”. That could be the name of our crime blog.
Beckett: Crime blog? The way that you help me write police reports? Got a feeling I’ll be writing that one on my own.

Capt. Gates: Are you sure about this?
Beckett: Yes, sir, but the moment I file a warrant request for that coat, it becomes public record.
Capt. Gates: So?
Beckett: So then everyone will know that Mayor Weldon is a person of interest.
Capt. Gates: Isn’t he?
Beckett: Yes, but… what if I’m wrong? It could ruin his career.
Capt. Gates: We… are tasked by the city of New York to protect its people. Sometimes that task comes with a cost. I know what they call me, detective, Iron Gates. I hear the whispers. She’s from IA. She must hate cops. Well, the truth is, I love cops. My daddy was a cop. My uncles were cops. But the sergeant who assaulted my patrol partner under the color or authority… who holds him accountable? We do. Go to the mayor, get him to voluntarily surrender his coat for fiber testing without a warrant. Tell him it’s the only way to keep it out of the media. But if he refuses, you get that warrant and you do your job, whatever the cost.

Castle: Brown cashmere. So we can narrow our suspects down to rich men with impeccable taste.
Beckett: (smiles) Are you saying, you’re a suspect?
Castle: Alexis is my alibi.

Capt. Gates: Castle and the mayor are friends, right?
Beckett: Sir?
Capt. Gates: These investigations are like juggling wet dynamite. One misstep, and it’ll all blow up in your face.
Beckett: I can handle myself.
Capt. Gates: Well, that’s good, detective, because I won’t be the only one watching.

Shay: Knock yourself out. But trust me, you’re wasting your time.
Beckett: It’s my time to waste.

An Embarrassment Of Bitches

Castle: All those times when you were little, how you begged me for a dog, and I refused because…
Alexis: You said, you’d be the one who’d wind up having to feed it, and it was hard enough remembering to feed me every day.
Castle: Yeah, I… I don’t remember that last part.
Alexis: It was subtext. Barely.

Castle: Hey, what are we gonna do with Royal? I mean, Francisco didn’t have any family.
Lanie: I didn’t have the heart to call Animal Control.
Ryan: Jenny’s friend runs a rescue.
Castle: Or… we could keep him here at the precinct. I mean, we could use a mascot.
Esposito: I thought that’s what you were.

The Blue Butterfly

Beckett: And?
Castle: And…that’s it. That was the last entry in the diary.
Beckett: What do you mean, that’s it? What happened to Joe? What happened to Vera?
Castle: I don’t know.
Beckett: Well, why would you tell a story when you don’t know the ending?
Castle: If you wanted a beginning and a middle and an end, I have 27 novels you can choose from.
Beckett: Ugh!

Castle: As they stared into each other’s eyes, Kate’s heart quickened…
Beckett: Did you just say Kate? Are you picturing the PI as you and me as the gangster’s moll?
Castle: What? No!

Castle: Um, Beckett? Can I take this home for the night? I mean, it might be the key to what Stan was looking for.
Beckett: You just want to read it because you think it’s cool.
Castle: Yeah, well, that, too.

Pandora

Beckett: Is it in?
Castle: To the left.
Beckett: Ok.
Castle: Push.
Beckett: Scoot down. (fiddles with latch) Yes.
Castle: Nice.

Beckett: What are you doing here?
Castle: I found something. It’s about Blakely.
Beckett: Well, shouldn’t you tell Sophia about it?
Castle: She isn’t my partner. You are.

Ryan: So…seriously, what’s going on?
Beckett: Guys, I’m sorry. We really can’t talk about it.
Esposito: Come on. This is us.
Castle: No. Hey, sorry, boys. Classified. Top secret. Our eyes only. Defcon 1. And if I did tell you, well, then I’d have to kill you.
Esposito: Yeah? Good luck with that.
Castle: Yeah, realistically, that’s not…
Esposito: I’m gonna go on record and say that this sucks.
Ryan: It sucks.
Beckett: And noted.

Beckett: Sooner or later, we’re gonna run out of air. We gotta get out of here.
Castle: Well, maybe somebody will find us.
Beckett: Castle, we are locked in the trunk of a car in long-term parking. It’s gonna be hours before anyone realizes that we’re missing. Who do you think is gonna find us?
Castle: I just feel, in situations like this, it’s important to have faith.
Beckett: You pressed the panic button, didn’t you?
Castle: Well, if there was ever a time to panic, I think this was it.
Beckett: I am…
Castle: You should be thanking me.
Beckett: No. I am not gonna be rescued by your girlfriend.

Capt. Gates: Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle, good of you to drop by. So tell me about this special assignment of yours.
Beckett: I’m afraid I can’t, sir.
Capt. Gates: Excuse me?
Castle: Yes, it’s on a need-to-know basis.
Capt. Gates: And I need to know.
Beckett: Sir, I think that the chief of detectives would back me up on this one.
Capt. Gates: Well… we’ll see about that. (walks away)
Castle: Did you see how mad she was? God, that was so good.

Lanie: No ID, but lots of causes of death.
Castle: You mean other than gravity?
Lanie: Oh, yeah. See that bullet wound?
Beckett: So he was shot before he fell?
Lanie: And stabbed.
Beckett: Shot and stabbed?
Lanie: And choked, and has a pencil jammed in the side of his neck.
Castle: Ah. Gives new meaning to the term overkill.

Linchpin

Beckett: I thought you were off the case.
Castle: Well, you heard what Sophia said. I’m a reckless, immature, self-centered jackass. If you’re stubborn enough to keep going, I’m stupid enough to go with you.

Esposito: Fake deaths, car in the water, don’t you think now is a good time to tell us what the hell is going on?
Castle: Uhm…
Beckett: I’m sorry, Javi. It’s classified.
Esposito: I was Special Forces. I used to eat classified for breakfast.

Castle: That whole, uh, sinking car thing much cooler in movies than it is in real life.
Beckett: And for the record, I prefer watching spy thrillers to being in them.

Once Upon A Crime

Beckett: I think we can make the play.
Castle: Really? So you want to venture into the dark, scary woods?
Beckett: Don’t worry, Castle. I got a gun. I’ll protect you from the big bad wolf.
Castle: You’d use your gun on my mother? I’m touched. Thank you.

Esposito: Two women are dead, Darren’s still being charged with blackmail, and I’m sure his marriage is over.
Beckett: Well, and that’s why we need fairy tales in the face of too much reality, to remind us that happy endings are still possible.

Castle: (referring to the killer) He covered his bases.
Beckett: I know. It’s really starting to piss me off.
Castle: Yeah, and you get cute when you get angry. But not when you get angry with me.

Beckett: Why are you so against your mom’s play?
Castle: Because she’s rewriting history, my history. Trust me, I lived through it. She’s making it sound like it’s her own personal fairy tale.
Beckett: Oh, so you don’t like it when someone writes their own version of your life? Interesting.

Castle: Isn’t it obvious? I mean, am I the only one seeing this?
Beckett: What?
Castle: Red cloak, in the woods, animal attack. She’s little Red Riding Hood.
Beckett: Great, Castle. I’ll call in an APB for the Big Bad Wolf.

A Dance With Death

Ryan: Damn. Did you see that?
Esposito: Mmm-hmm.
Ryan: She acted like I didn’t even exist.
Esposito: You don’t. Not since you put that ring on your finger. Get used to being invisible to single women.

Ryan: I gotta say, Dr. Parish. I never figured you for a fan of “A Night Of Dance.”
Lanie: I’m not exactly. It’s just…when I was young, more than anything, I wanted to be a prima ballerina. If I wasn’t dancing, I was thinking about dancing.
Castle: So what happened?
Lanie: (points at her breasts) The girls came along when I was 13. Not that many top-heavy ballerinas out there.
Castle: Well, I think there should be.
Beckett: Of course you do.
Castle: That’s not what I meant. Although…(Ryan nods his head in agreement.)

47 Seconds

Martha: Why on earth would you go back knowing how she feels, knowing that she lied to you…
Castle: No, no, this isn’t about her. This is… (referring to the bombing victims) This is about them. You know, it’s about doing something real… Something that matters. I’m not willing to let that go.
Martha: Richard, love is not a switch. You can’t just turn it off. You can’t work side by side with her and not feel anything.
Castle: Watch me.

Castle: You’re a pretty smart kid, you know that?
Alexis: Well, they say genius…skips a generation.
Castle: Apparently, so does funny.

Martha: Richard, how much longer are you gonna drag your heels before you tell Beckett how you feel? And I mean while she is awake, not lying on the ground with a bullet in her chest.
Castle: You don’t understand…
Martha: It’s complicated, so you say. Only it’s not. It’s not. Nobody’s tomorrows are guaranteed, right? Wouldn’t it be better to tell her even if the timing is wrong than never to tell her at all?
Castle: And what if she isn’t ready?
Martha: Then she never will be. Then you move on.

Castle: So their deaths were random. You know, most of our victims, they…they die for a reason. You know, there’s a logic behind it. It’s a twisted logic at times, but… at least it makes some kind of sense.
Beckett: Yeah, but in this case, these people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Castle: And their future and all their plans, everything is just gone in a flash.
Beckett: It makes you think about all those things in your own life that you don’t want to put off anymore.

The Limey

Beckett: Well, you’re in.
Colin: Thank you.
Castle: What? Seriously?
Beckett: Yeah, your supervisor at Scotland Yard said you’re one of the best. Even Captain Gates was impressed with your record.
Castle: Well, I guess it’s not outsiders she doesn’t like. It’s just me.

Beckett: I’m telling you something happened. Something changed. It’s been weird between us lately.
Lanie: Lately? Kate, it’s been weird for four years.
Beckett: No, this is different. He’s different. It’s like he’s pulling away.
Lanie: Well, can you blame him? He’s probably tired of waiting.
Beckett: Waiting for what?
Lanie: What do you think? The guy is crazy about you. And despite your little act, you’re crazy about him. (Beckett stunned) Oh, what, was that supposed to be some big secret?
Beckett: Yes. No.

Lanie: Where’s Castle?
Beckett: He took off… for a lunch date.
Lanie: In a Ferrari full of flight attendant?
Beckett: Yeah, he’s probably trying to rack up his frequent flyer miles.
Lanie: I’m sorry. But you know she’s just a passing thing.
Beckett: Do I? I mean, the guy has been divorced twice, and he’s still chasing bimbos. Maybe that’s just who he is.
Lanie: Look, maybe it’s the wrong time or maybe he’s even the wrong guy, but if he is, how long are you gonna wait to find out? (about the corpses in the morgue) Ten years, I’ve been keeping them company while they spend a night or two here on their way to where we’re all going. They all had plans, Kate, things they were gonna do when they got around to it… Go on a cruise, lose 10 pounds, fall in love. They thought they had all the time in the world. But nobody does.

Beckett: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Castle: Yeah, that we should throw a party and hire a bunch of models.
Beckett: No. That maybe Naomi somehow got into that party last night and that that’s where she met her killer. That’s what I was thinking.
Castle: Weird. We’re usually more in sync than that.

Beckett: (about the body) Hey, Lanie, how does it look?
Lanie: (about her relationship with Castle) Like you waited too long.

Beckett: I just… I don’t want to lose what we have, you know?
Lanie: Girl, please. What exactly do you have, really?
Beckett: A friendship.
Lanie: No. What you and I have is a friendship. What you and Castle have is a holding pattern. How long can you circle before the fuel runs out?

Headhunters

Slaughter: Detective, you ever want to go on a date that ends in hot sex after a drunken fistfight, you know where to find me.
Beckett: Uh, yeah, in never-gonna-happen land.

Beckett: Counselor. Can I speak with your client for a second?
Vales: She probably wants my autograph.
Beckett: You feel cocky. I get it. You just dodged a murder rap. Probably gonna go out tonight and celebrate with your boys, and you should paint the town. But then in the morning, I want you to get the hell out of my city.
Vales: But I like it here.
Beckett: You might like it right now. But starting tomorrow, you’re gonna see just how hard a city New York can be when the full force of the NYPD comes crashing down on you with 30,000 cops making it their daily duty to make your life a living hell. Counselor, you can take him away now.
Slaughter: Oh, that is sexy.

Dr. Burke: What do you think he’s telling you with his behavior?
Beckett: That maybe he’s not there anymore? That maybe he’s not ready? What if I waited too long?
Dr. Burke: You weren’t waiting, Kate. You were healing.
Beckett: Yeah, but then in the meantime, he’s moved on.
Dr. Burke: Or he’s protecting himself by not taking more emotional risks.
Beckett: So then what do I do?
Dr. Burke: What do you want to do?

Castle: Oh, you should have seen it. Slaughter got the drop on the one guy, but the other guy tried to make a break for it. I had to take his ass down.
Beckett: You what? Are you kidding me? You’re a writer, Castle. Not a cop.
Castle: Hey, I can take care of myself. You just never give me a chance.
Beckett: Yeah, because I’m not trying to get you killed. And what is he doing using our box?
Castle: Well, I invited him to.
Beckett: Castle, that’s not your place.
Castle: I didn’t think you’d mind. Besides, guys like Slaughter, they just float from precinct to precinct, you know? They’re like nomads, wandering the streets of New York City, kicking ass and taking names, which isn’t the most original turn of phrase, but the character is so great. It’s really gonna help me shake up this next Nikki Heat book.
Beckett: Yeah, sure, if you live long enough to actually write about it.

Slaughter: Speaking of partners, I’ve seen pictures of yours. She’s smokin’ hot. You’re tappin’ that, right?
Castle: What? No.
Slaughter: No? What’s wrong with you?
Castle: Nothing’s-nothing’s wrong with me. We’re just friends.
Slaughter: Man needs a friend, he gets a dog. Woman like that, you storm the beaches or die trying.

Undead Again

Castle: I didn’t know you were seeing a therapist.
Beckett: Yeah, well, I didn’t want to make any excuses. I just wanted to… put in the time and do the work. But I think I’m almost where I want to be now.
Castle: And… where is that?
Beckett: In a place where I can finally accept everything that happened that day. Everything.
Castle: I think… I understand.
Beckett: And, um, that wall that I was telling you about… I think it’s coming down.
Castle: Well, I’d like to be there when it does.
Beckett: Yeah, I’d like you to be there, too.

Beckett: Maybe this is it, what every homicide cop fears. The perfect murder.
Castle: No. This is not the perfect murder. Can’t be.
Beckett: It happens.
Castle: Not to me. Not unless I’ve written it.

Beckett: You think he remembers?
Castle: When a life-altering moment occurs, people remember.
Beckett: Well, maybe it’s too big to deal with. Maybe he… can’t face it just yet.
Castle: Well, you think he ever will be?
Beckett: Hopefully, if he feels safe.

Beckett: Castle, what we are looking for is not a zombie, but a very smart criminal who murdered David Lock and is now making our only witness look crazy, and he also dressed up in makeup and a costume to hide his identity.
Castle: Unless that’s not a costume or makeup.
Ryan: I mean, he does look like a real zombie.
Esposito: A real zombie? I’m embarrassed for you, bro.
Beckett: Okay, then explain this, why would a zombie go after a currency trader at 4:00 AM in a garage?
Castle: This one’s easy. The more intelligent the victim, the more delicious the brains.

Always

Alexis: There is a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not – everything eventually ends. Much as I’ve looked forward to this day, I’ve always disliked endings. Last day of summer. The final chapter of a great book. Parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall. You close the book. You say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. We’re moving on. But, just because we’re leaving, and it hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us, they’ll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground, our North Star, and the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us, always.

Castle: Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee, just so I can see a smile on your face. Because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating, person I’ve ever met. And I love you Kate, and if that means anything to you, if you care about me at all, just don’t do this.

Castle: You’re not alone in this. I’m here.
Beckett: I know.

Castle: Beckett, what do you want?
Beckett: You.

Beckett: I almost died and all I could think about was you.

Beckett: How the hell could you do this?
Castle: Because I love you. But you already know that, don’t you? You’ve known for about a year now.